Andrew Gramer Thriving In Life In Spite Of His Father’s Death

April 9, 2013 was a typical day for Andrew Gamer; typical that is until following lacrosse practice he noticed a series of missed calls on his phone. They were from his mother, Gina. Andrew and his brother Paul were instructed to hurry to the hospital to see their father, Kris. They didn’t make it in time.

Kris was a mailman for the U.S. postal service for 20 years and loved his job. He loved his boys and his wife even more.

“Every day he told our boys that he loved them and made sure they knew how much he cared for them,” Gina said.

On the morning of April 9^th, Kris complained of severe leg pain. He tried to complete his postal route but was unable to do so.

“Kris was never the kind of guy to call in sick to work or go to the doctor, and when he told me he thought he couldn’t work because of the pain in his leg, I knew something was wrong,” Gina said.

After a few hours of rest, Kris started to feel better but shortly after, began to feel sick to his stomach. At this point, Kris called the doctor who, due to Kris’s symptoms, thought he might have a blood clot in his leg.  This prompted an immediate trip to the emergency room. Kris’s condition quickly declined and he was immediately put on a stretcher and changed into a hospital gown. The doctors started to ask him some questions and take some tests then, Kris started to complain of being light headed and some acute chest pain overcame him. A pulmonary embolism attacked Kris and went straight to his lung, stopping his breathing. He did not take another breath. The doctors tried to resuscitate him for over an hour but were unsuccessful.

Paul and Andrew rushed to the hospital, escorted by their uncle, and witnessed what happened to their father. They left the hospital that night with a numb feeling and an uncertain future.

The immediate outpouring of condolences on social media, flowers, notes and visits were surreal.

“We had so much support right off the bat that the boys were able to go to school the next day. School was where they felt the most support and love,” Gina said.

Coach Brody Benson was joined by other football coaches at the hospital and remembers that night very well.

“It’s nothing that you want to see anybody go through, but both of the Gramer boys handled it like adults,” Benson said.

The day following their father’s death, both Paul and Andrew participated in their respected baseball and lacrosse games, where they were comforted by the tremendous support they felt from their teammates. Their teammates put Kris’s initials on their helmets and equipment and the coaches dedicated the games to their dad. Also, during the ensuing football season, each player wore a sticker with “KG” on their helmet and banners, honoring Kris, were hung around the football field.

Just a few days later, Gramer was back at morning practice with the football team and slowly tried to get back into reality. The brotherhood and the love of the football team helped the Gramer brothers face the reality of their father’s death.

“We were able to go to school the next day and not miss beat because that is where we felt comfortable and felt so much love from our friends. Hopping back into our normal schedule as fast as we did, helped us. We were able to focus on other things,” Gramer said.

The Gramers feel forever indebted to the coaches, teammates, and Highland community for the unconditional love that they felt during that difficult time.

“I feel like these people have helped the boys become who they are today and I know my boys will be successful adults. I just hope and pray that they will pay it forward because we have been given so much these last few years because of this and I hope they help anyone they come across because of the help we have gotten,” Gina said.

Life at home was changed significantly after this unexpected event. Andrew quickly realized how much work it took to maintain a home and whenever they got home from school, it was like he had another job.

“I didn’t realize how much work my dad did at home. So, Paul and I really had to step up in our dad’s place to help our mom. It also made us grow up and made us think about things with more of an adult perspective,” Andrew said.

For example, last month Gina had surgery on her shoulder and was unable to fix her hair in the morning and Andrew quickly stepped up to help her. His ponytail skills have certainly improved after a few weeks of fixing his mom’s hair!

With the absence of a father in the Gramer home, the community and many impactful coaches have filled this void.

“Brody told the boys, ‘I am your coach, but more importantly I am your friend and if you ever need a friend, you can come to me as a friend,’” Gina said.

Not only were the coaches helpful, but many Highland teachers and faculty showed their condolences through flowers and notes. Specifically, Ms. Hoganson, Herr Hardy and Chris Jenson showed immeasurable support to the boys.

While this event impacted Gramer’s life significantly, it has not defined him.

Gramer has always excelled in the classroom, community and on the football and lacrosse fields. In his senior year, he was a captain on the football team, First Team All-State, as well as the recipient of the “Hometown Heroes” award given by the Marines. The 3.98 GPA student was also  one of 13 Utah football players honored as 2016 Scholar Athlete Award winners by the Utah Chapter of the National Football Foundation and College Hall of Fame. His accolades on the field are a direct reflection of the man he has become off the field.

“The fact that Andrew always took care of school, his athletics, and always did what we asked of him shows how much of good young man he is. In spite of everything he has gone through, he has handled it better than one can even imagine,” Benson said.

Gramer’s role on the football team, both on and off the field will be near impossible to fill.  He was a team captain, anchor of the offense and exceptional leader in the weight room and classroom.

“He’s the epitome of what you want out of a leader and out of a teammate — both on the field and off,” Benson said.

Moving forward, Gramer has signed to play football at William Penn University in Iowa but is unsure if he wants to play at the next level. If he decides not to play, he will either attend the University of Utah or Willamette University in Oregon.

Even if his father were alive today, Gramer would have received awards, honors and accolades.  Kris’s death has not defined Andrew, yet he has felt great loss.  Nonetheless, Gramer has not made excuses or focused on his father’s death.  Instead, he has made a positive impact on many people at Highland and in the community.