The Romans worshipped a plethora of deities. Among them was Janus, the god of beginnings, change, and time. According to the Romans, he had two faces: one looked into the past, to see the events of yesteryear, and the other looked to the future, to gaze into what will come. He is at the crossroads of life. 

Like the Romans, we are at a time of change. Violence is rising, fear is spreading, and more people are asking why the world is so painful. It seems like our very future is threatened. It seems like the problems have piled up higher than any mountain.  

Naturally, people are reacting to these problems in a multitude of ways. Ranging from the rational to the insane, despair has a unique way of testing our endurance. However, there is still one perfectly reasonable solution to all of our problems. We should all be sprinting as fast as we can to an extreme side of every topic. Don’t ever back down and think about admitting “wrongdoing”. The only books that any human being should be allowed to read are the ones that you deem fit for consumption. And if anyone disagrees with you politically, they deserve to be burned at the stake. 

Our generation is too soft. People need to be less worried about fighting injustice and more worried about destroying a random person on Twitter and then finding their home address and burning their house to the ground. Who cares about saving the climate? They disagreed with you on some inconsequential issue and should’ve been pounded into the mud until they were nothing. They needed to learn that you are always right and those who disagree with you ought to die. 

Many people are weak and “better” than you because they want to “treat others with kindness”. They believe that we should “listen to the other side” and “get past our pointless differences”. Ha! Listening to the other side is for the weak and wrong, which your enemies should do, because they are both weak and wrong. Your extreme viewpoint on any contentious topic is the only one that matters, because you are the center of the universe. 

There are, unfortunately, several politicians who believe that if they do not compromise, nothing will change, and congress will remain an ineffectual mess of policy changes and revenge laws. They are wrong. They need to embrace the extreme. The politicians who budge in their viewpoints and sacrifice their supporters’ opinions for “justice” and “the greater good” need to be immediately removed from office. Ideally, they’re thrown in jail for selling their souls to Satan. You know what? Throw all the evil politician’s supporters and those that remotely agree with them into jail for complacency or something like that. 

This is the point in the article where you’re probably thinking to yourself, “Hang on a minute. Aren’t these other people’s problems? Why are you wasting my time with your awful allegories?” And you’d be right, except I still have an ace up my sleeve. Have you ever worked your tail off, turned all your assignments in, studied for every test, and still only managed to get an A-? Or maybe a B-? Awful feeling. You deserve that A. Or B. Or whatever grade your evil teacher thought was an appropriate way to crush your dreams by keeping that A dangling out of reach.  

Give into your hate and write them an incredibly angry email full of grammatical errors! Join the dark side and get your parents to yell at your underpaid and overworked teacher. 

The world is changing. We are the generation that will decide the future. Will you be feeble and change the world so that our grandchildren’s grandchildren will look back and say, “we are so lucky that Generation Z sat down and compromised with their enemies in order to fix the world”. Or will you be brave and hide behind your computers with me and demean everyone online for the slightest offences.  

Be strong and help divide this country that has opened its doors to the poor and needy by becoming more extreme.