The week before Homecoming is always exciting. Picking out your shoes, getting your nails done, and making sure the flowers match is all part of the routine. But underneath the fun activities, stress rises about the expectations. Is my dress the right color? Is the activity fun? Did I ask at the right time? All these questions explode in your heads because of the strict standards surrounding dances.
Highland has seven regular dances every year: Homecoming, MORP, winters, sweethearts, Sadie’s, Prom, and the last dance. None of these dances have forced rules, but social rules dictating everything. I want to go to a dance without having to worry about doing everything right.
Even if these rules are unwritten, it seems as though we remember them all. The main ones followed are dress codes, dance agendas, and group requirements. All these social requirements are what stop us from elaborating on our own ideas. You should go to the dances because they’re fun and exciting, without any stress.
Dress codes are not enforced by the school but by social standards. The social standards decide on what you wear. It chooses the colors, style, and matching of all the dresses and suits. When someone wears white it doesn’t mean everyone has to wear white. Everyone should feel free to express their individuality without fear of judgement.
These standards for what we wear bring consequences with them. These social standards impact the students’ experiences and self-esteem. This can create a divide between those who choose not to meet the expectations. These Social norms change the dance to a place built with fear and stress when it should be a place to enjoy a time of fun.
Knowing what color to wear is also based on the group you coordinate with. The group you decide to choose is initially your own choice, but is it where everyone wants to be? These dance groups have always been large. The groups are originally big but why don’t you go in a small group? It shouldn’t be weird for you to be with a few people at a dance.
Along with the group sizing, there are requirements for the group. Mainly about the agenda, here in Utah is the only place where an activity is normal. We have dinner, the dance, and an activity. Most places outside of Utah just eat dinner and go to the dance. This is not only a lot of work but a lot of money.
Everyone complains about how much money they spend but at any moment they can decide to leave the activity out. You have your own opinions so why not change the dance agenda. It wasn’t it isn’t, and it will never be required. You should always plan the dance according to your own opinions.
The many consequences of following social norms will only become greater. The pressure to feel perfect makes everyone stressed and leaves them feeling unwanted. People feel the need to be included, and it grows as social standards set. All these dances are a place for fun and not for social obligation.
The only thing keeping these social standards are the people following them. We can Decide when these social norms end. It takes a lot of courage to step up to your own ideas and to change the obligations. Create your own plans for a dance and that’ll be the first steps to getting rid of the standards.
High School dances shouldn’t be a contest, they should be an exciting night to let loose and have fun. Standards shouldn’t be what fill our heads, or what change our minds. There is no need for social norms surrounding our lives. Our ideas should all be heard and acted upon. Dances need to be filled with our own planning and not the social planning. Let’s get rid of these dance standards.
